so, this is not how i intended to come back to the blogging world. i planned to have a big blog to fill you in on all that has happened in a year. and theres some big stuff! i mean, i have another child now! haha. i will get to that blog, eventually. but i just need to talk about today!!!
i keep taking deep breaths, but it still feels like i need to take them! john came home from work sick yesterday, and it just got worse. im thinkin flu. so, hes been stayin away from the rest of us mostly, which means i get to do it all! not his fault, i know, but none the less stressful! tonight was church, and i was supposed to bring food to a choir fellowship. so, im rushin around trying to get the boys ready, while my baby boy is being super fussy! so i was pretty late getting out the door. i kept thinkin, why go?? then i thought, b/c the alternative would be staying home with all three by myself!! lol.
i just dont know what to do about my new little bundle of joy sometimes…i love lil jonathan with all my heart, but he seriously stresses me out sometimes. we switched him to soy formula bout a week ago, and things seemed sooo much better. but the past few days, its like the old J is back. (i’ll probably refer to him as J a lot. saves my fingers.) last night, he screamed like someone was doing something horrible to him for 5-10 minutes, and i could do nothing with him. finally gave him gas drops and tylenol, and wrapped him up and put his paci in. he finally slept. he hasnt been eating like normal, and acts like it hurts to eat. i guess if this keeps up, i will be calling the dr. he has no fever, seems fine otherwise. but, let me tell you, when hes happy, and content, his smile will light up my world! and his little coos….absolutely the most adorable sound ever!!
add all this to a three and four year old that sometimes run wild, and well, you get the picture.
but, i am truly so thankful for my boys. between them and God, i somehow make it. i got in the car to go to church, feelin like balling my eyes out, and “indescribable” was on the radio. now, first of all, this is a great song, really brings things into perspective. secondly, i love to sing. i thank God for song. i wouldnt survive without it. its such a stress reliever for me! so, you better believe i turned it up, and belted it out for all i was worth!! thirdly, my little lukey pookie, loves to sing too! and he was back there singing for all he was worth!! i really need to videotape him. he doesnt know all the works, so he just makes up his own. im tellin you, between the song and luke singin, i could not stop smiling! definitely a different feeling than just 4 minutes before.
so in closing tonight, thank you God, for being indescribable. thank You, for being amazing. Thank you that You are incomparable, and unchangeable. Most of all, thank You that you see the sins of my heart, and You love me the same. for that reason alone, i can smile.
